This happened with the "Nation" at the very next day of APS incident


I was emotionally sick, and was in dreadful pain. The speedy flow of my thoughts had already thrown me in depression and there was no remedy to cure. Because the depression was in air, the sorrow could be sensed in atmosphere.
That morning, when I entered to my work place, I sensed the grief around, the fear was stagnant there and the horror was sketched on everyone’s face. As a teacher at the reputable school of Karachi, I needed to conduct the assembly, but the short strength at school, worried faces and questioning eyes and the buzzing of students weren’t allowed me to do in that conventional manner.
But I tried and soon, the assembly presentation had commenced. Usually, we start with the orthodox lines
“Good Morning” “how are you?”
But this time it was bit different. Actually, very much different.
I uttered,
“Before starting the assembly presentation, let’s recite the surah e fatiha for all those students who sacrificed their lives on 16th December.”
There was buzzing around, the unspoken questions, the heartache, the big-lost were quiet evident on students’ faces. And I was shaken by those gazing eyes.
And soon I understood, that the students were facing the same trance as me, they were facing the same fear alike me, their brains were questioning like me, and hence, they were in the same emotional maze where I stood
Just after wrap-up, I immediately left the assembly hall and was wondering about 16th December, Army Public school’s assembly.
 I was wondering about the unpredictability of life, those buds would surely have never imagined that the assembly was their last gathering with their companion and principal.
I mean who thought like this at the age of 10-14.
I hushed-up all those thought and was rushed in my class, III-A.
They greeted and I responded, they were serious and I tried too hard to hide my hesitation. I said,
How are you all?” “So, no smiles on faces”
At that time, the most confident Barbie doll of my class stood in front of me and said
“Hum bhi mar jaen gye kia?” “un bachon ko kis nay mara tha” “Miss un bachon ko mara kuin tha?”

I was shocked, I thought that they are kids, they shouldn’t know this all. I was shaken and  immediately responded,
“No my dear, and who told you about this?” “It’s not true; nobody dares to touch you” “i was the game telecasted on T.V, nothing serious”
She said “my parents were watching T.V and I watched it too” and said, “No Ms, that was not the game, it actually happened in Peshawar. Can anyone enters to our school and could kill us?”
Her question made me teary. I had no answer. I hugged her and left the class to hide my tears.
At that time, i thought that if the girl of 6 years is in such emotional turbulence then what emotional voilence is being experienced nationwide.

Trust me! That day was the toughest day for me? Many questions were asked and I had no reply but a prayer, curse and a wish;


Prayer for the victims and curse to the culprits and wish to wipe this incident from the pages of history


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